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Viper: Guilty as Charged!
by: Lisa Norris, Michigan
 There was a vicious rumor that Viper was found eating an entire sack of potatoes. Although capable, Viper is not the guilty party. He is, however, guilty of: ruining my "spa day" by snatching the cucumber slice from my eye, getting stuck under the coffee table, the meatloaf heist, wine tasting, slug snorting, toilet seat cover stealing, garbage picking chicken bones, couch dwelling, holding a grudge against mom after getting bathed, 52 card pickup, etc...
And, man can that dog hold a grudge. Viper still hasn't forgiven me for throwing out his “throne”, a chair that nobody was allowed to sit in that was taking up half of my living room. If a guest sat in HIS chair, he would stare them down until they moved. Most people thought it was because he liked them, ha ha, I knew better. He was just waiting for them to get off of HIS chair.
And guess what I found in his chair when I threw it out? My missing DVD remote, the toilet seat cover (I don’t know why that would be important to him), a funny looking dinosaur toy and a bunch of change he must have been saving for a recession of dog bones or something. Of course, I can't forget to mention, the nose puddles he leaves everywhere he decides to nap. And let's not forget that he stole and ate my pet fish. I still feel bad for that fish. Just when I think I've Viper proofed the house...
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